Choosing the Right Person to Be Your Emergency Contact

Asking someone to be your emergency contact is an important step in ensuring that you're covered during a crisis, but it’s crucial that the person you choose understands what the role entails. Here’s a quick guide on how to ask a trusted individual to step into this role, what they need to know, and what they will (and won’t) be able to do.

Advice on How to Ask

When choosing an emergency contact, it's important to approach someone who is reliable, trustworthy, and capable of stepping in during an emergency. Start by explaining why you’re setting up an emergency contact and why you value their presence in this role. Be clear that it’s about being able to rely on them in a crisis and that you trust them with critical information. Here are two examples of how you may phrase it:

"I’ve been thinking about my emergency planning, and I’d really like you to be my emergency contact. If anything ever happens to me, you’d be the first person I want to be reached. Would you be willing to step into this role?"

"I’ve been putting together an emergency plan for myself, and I’d feel a lot more at ease knowing I have someone I trust to help in case something unexpected happens. Would you be willing to be my emergency contact? This would mean you’d be the person they reach out to in case of an emergency, and you'd help make sure the right people are informed."

What They Should Be Prepared to Do

Your emergency contact will need to be prepared to:

1. Receive urgent information: They will be contacted if you’re ever in a situation where immediate action is needed (e.g., medical emergencies, accidents, or incapacitation).

2. Help coordinate with healthcare providers or emergency services: While they won’t make decisions, they may need to provide basic details about you to medical professionals or help facilitate communication between you and emergency responders.

3. Inform family members: They’ll likely be asked to notify your family or close contacts about your situation, especially if you are unable to do so yourself.

4. Assist with immediate logistical needs: This might include helping with transport, caring for dependents or pets, or simply providing assistance to keep things running smoothly while you're unavailable.

Critical Information for Your Emergency Contact to Understand

Make sure your emergency contact is aware of these key details:

1. Your full name, home address, and contact info

2. Primary care doctor and medical history (including allergies and ongoing health concerns)

3. Names and contact details for close family or other emergency contacts

4. Details about pets or dependents that need care

5. Your workplace or doctor’s office (if applicable)

6. Any specific instructions for medical care or emergencies (if applicable)

What They Will NOT Have the Power to Do

It’s important to clarify what your emergency contact cannot do:

1. Make legal or financial decisions: They do not have the authority to manage your finances, estate, or make legal decisions unless you’ve granted them a power of attorney (POA).

2. Access private medical records: They can provide basic details about your health, but unless you’ve given written consent (like a medical POA), they won’t be able to access all your medical information.

3. Make long-term decisions: They are only involved in immediate crises and cannot make decisions about your long-term care or estate without more formal legal documentation.

Setting Clear Boundaries Between Your Emergency Contact and POA

While your emergency contact might be involved in addressing immediate needs, it’s important to distinguish their role from that of your power of attorney. Make sure to document your wishes for medical and legal decisions, and ensure that your power of attorney understands their authority. Setting these boundaries ahead of time can help prevent confusion and ensure that everyone involved understands their responsibilities in different situations.

Visit our blog, The Importance of Setting an Emergency Contact to learn more about how a POA and emergency contact differ.

A Personal Note:

I thought it might be helpful to display a real life example here. For me, my emergency contact is my best friend. My husband, being in the Navy, is often deployed, and we are assigned to a duty station that’s far from our families. In situations like these, having someone nearby whom I trust implicitly is invaluable. My best friend is someone I work with, confide in, and feel completely comfortable sharing my personal and medical details with. She knows my home address, my primary care doctors, and has access to important contact information for my family. She’s aware of my health concerns, and she’s also prepared to step in and manage the demands of my home if I were ever incapacitated—like caring for my pet if my husband is away. While she holds a vital role in my emergency planning, she is not my power of attorney (POA) or executor. Those roles are separate and filled by other trusted individuals in my immediate family. Having her as my emergency contact gives me peace of mind, knowing that she can get to me quickly and support me when I need someone most.

Disclaimer: We’re not legal or medical professionals, and the content here is based on our own experiences, research, and the expert advice we've received. Our goal is to offer helpful guidance to get you started on your end-of-life planning journey. We’re here to make those conversations a bit easier, and while we aim to provide reliable information, this blog is not intended to serve as legal or medical advice. We always recommend consulting with a qualified legal and medical professional to finalize your plans.