How to Write an Obituary

In this blog post, we'll break down how to write an obituary step by step, where to start, and the different options for publishing it. We’ll also touch on whether someone can write it for you and provide some helpful resources along the way.

Where to Start

Start by gathering the following information:

1. Full Name, Age, and Date of Death

   • Include the full name of the deceased, along with any nicknames or maiden names if applicable.

   • Include their age at the time of death.

   • State the date of death, as well as the location (city and state).

2. Important Life Milestones

   • List key dates, such as birth date and place, marriage, children, grandchildren, etc.

   • Include educational background, career achievements, and any significant life accomplishments.

   • Mention hobbies, interests, or causes they cared deeply about.

3. Family Information

   • Mention surviving family members, such as spouse(s), children, siblings, grandchildren, and other close relatives. You can also note predeceased relatives if desired.

   • For example: “He is survived by his wife, Jane; three children, Emily, Sarah, and David; and five grandchildren…”

4. Funeral or Memorial Service Information

   • If there’s a service planned, include the time, date, and location. Also, mention whether it will be private or open to the public.

   • If there’s a charity or cause that the family would prefer donations to go to in lieu of flowers, include that information.

5. Personal Reflections or Quotes

   • You may want to add a meaningful quote or brief personal reflection that captures the spirit of the deceased. This might be something they loved saying or a quality they were known for.

   • For example: "He was always the first to lend a helping hand," or, "Her passion for gardening inspired everyone who knew her."

How to Structure the Obituary

While there’s no strict formula for writing an obituary, a typical structure might look something like this:

1. Headline/Opening Paragraph

   • Announce the death clearly, including the name, age, and date of death. You might also briefly mention the cause of death, if appropriate.

   • Example: “John Richard Smith, 72, of Dallas, passed away peacefully on January 15, 2025, at his home surrounded by loved ones.”

2. Life Summary

   • Provide a brief life summary, highlighting key milestones such as birth, education, career, and family.

   • Example: “Born in Phoenix, Arizona, on June 5, 1958, John graduated from the University of Florida with a degree in Engineering. He worked for over 37 years at XYZ Corporation, where he became a Vice President. He was a devoted husband, father, and grandfather.”

3. Family Details

   • Mention surviving family members and any significant predeceased relatives.

   • Example: “John is survived by his wife of 56 years, Carol; three children, Michael, Elizabeth, and Sarah; and five grandchildren. He was preceded in death by his parents, George and Mary Smith.”

4. Funeral or Memorial Details

   • Include information about the funeral or memorial service, as well as details on donations or charitable causes.

   • Example: “A memorial service will be held at 2:00 p.m. on January 20, 2025, at St. John’s Church, 123 Main Street, Dallas, TX. In lieu of flowers, donations can be made to the American Cancer Society.”

5. Personal Tribute/Closing

   • End with a personal reflection, quote, or sentiment that conveys the essence of the person’s life.

   • Example: “John will be remembered for his kindness, his dedication to his family, and his love of classic cars.”

What Affects the Price?

The pricing mentioned in this blog post is general and based on typical industry ranges. Several factors can affect the cost of an obituary:

• Length: Longer obituaries will generally cost more. Some newspapers or websites charge by word count, while others charge by column inch or page space.

• Add-ons: Including photographs, a memorial video, a family photo, or a donation link can increase the price.

• Time of Year: Holiday and weekend obituaries may cost more due to higher demand and increased circulation.

• Location: Local or regional newspapers typically offer more affordable rates compared to national publications.

• Online vs. Print: Print obituaries tend to be more expensive than their online counterparts, though some outlets offer discounts for online-only listings.

Options for Publishing the Obituary

Once the obituary is written, the next step is to decide where to publish it. The options vary depending on whether you want to reach a local audience, an online community, or both:

1. Local Newspapers

   Traditionally, obituaries are published in local newspapers. Reach out to the newspaper’s obituary desk to inquire about publication fees, submission guidelines, and deadlines. Some newspapers also offer online obituaries.

   • Price Range: $100 to $1,000+

   • Local newspapers typically charge based on the length of the obituary (word count or column inches). Rates can also depend on the region, with major metropolitan newspapers being more expensive than smaller, local outlets.

2. National Newspapers (e.g., The New York Times, USA Today)

   • Price Range: $1,000 to $3,000+

   • Publishing an obituary in a national newspaper is significantly more expensive than local outlets. Major newspapers like The New York Times or The Washington Post can charge anywhere from $1,000 to $3,000 or more for an obituary, depending on length and placement (e.g., front page vs. a more modest position).

3. Online Obituary Platforms

   • Price Range: Free to $500+

   • Websites like Legacy.com, Tributes.com, Ever Loved, and Memorials.com offer both free and paid obituary services. Paid obituaries may provide additional features such as a memorial guestbook, photo galleries, and donation options.

     • Basic Listings (Free): Many online platforms allow free obituaries with basic details such as name, date of death, and funeral service information.

     • Premium Listings: Premium listings, which allow for more customization (photos, videos, donation links, guestbook, etc.)

4. Funeral Home Websites

   • Price Range: Free to $500+

   • Many funeral homes offer obituary listings on their websites at no additional cost as part of their services. These may include funeral details, memorial donation links, and other customizations. If you choose a premium service, such as a photo gallery or additional features, the cost could rise.

5. Social Media Platforms

   • Price Range: Free

   • Posting an obituary on social media platforms such as Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter is free. Many people also choose to create memorial pages or groups where others can share memories and condolences.

Can Someone Else Write It for You?

Yes, absolutely. Writing an obituary can be emotionally taxing, especially if you're grieving the loss of a loved one. If you’re not able to write it yourself, here are some options:

1. Funeral Home Assistance
   Many funeral homes provide obituary writing services as part of their package, helping you compose a respectful and accurate tribute. They are accustomed to handling these kinds of requests and can ensure the obituary follows the right format for both print and online publication.

2. Professional Writers or Editors
   If you need help crafting the obituary but prefer to write it yourself, you can hire a professional writer or editor. Websites like Fiverr or Upwork have professionals who specialize in obituary writing, offering a more personalized touch.

3. Family or Friends
   It’s also common to have close family members or friends help with writing the obituary, particularly if the deceased person had a special relationship with someone who is good with words.

Can You Pre-Write Your Own Obituary?

Yes, it’s possible to pre-write your own obituary—and for many, it’s a thoughtful way to ensure their legacy is captured the way they would want. Writing your own obituary allows you to decide what’s important to highlight and ensures that your life is honored according to your values and preferences. Here are some things to consider when pre-writing your obituary:

1. Why Pre-Writing Is a Good Idea

   • Alleviates Burden: Losing a loved one can be an overwhelming experience, and writing an obituary during that time can be emotionally taxing. By pre-writing your obituary, you ease the burden on your family, allowing them to focus on grieving rather than crafting the perfect tribute.

   • Legacy Control: It gives you the opportunity to control the narrative. You can decide what aspects of your life you want to emphasize and how you want to be remembered.

   • Keeps Things Personal: By working on your obituary ahead of time, you can include specific anecdotes, family details, or even your own voice, ensuring it’s true to you.

Resources for Writing an Obituary

If you're looking for additional guidance, there are several helpful resources available:

• Obituary Writing Services: Many funeral homes and online platforms provide guides or templates for writing obituaries.

• Obituary Writing Books: Books like "The Essential Guide to Writing Obituaries" by Anne K. Miller offer comprehensive advice on crafting a meaningful obituary.

Do you have any experiences with publishing obituaries or advice on what worked best for your family? We’d love to hear your thoughts! Drop a note in the postbox below.